Thursday, June 08, 2006

What a horrible, miserable day.....

The rain just won't stop... It's an unending sheet of wetness and gray. Okay, it's not that bad it's just that today I had to go out into it and do bunch of errands. To make the wetness of the day even more annoying my MP3 player, for some reason, chose to only play songs like "Candy Man" by Sammy Davis Jr. or "Sunshine Day" by The Brady Bunch.... yes I admit it I have The Brady Bunch on my Mp3 player.

My various activities took me to the unemployment office where I stood in line for a long, long, long, long, long time. It never fails while everyone is waiting in a line that snakes forever and a day around the office some moron thinks that the line isn't for him. So while myself, and seventy other saps who can't find a job, wait in line like nice people this Danny Bonaduce lookin' dude comes in (Well since it WAS the unemployment office it could have very well actually been Danny Bonaduce. Danny looks at the line, walks all the way to the front past all 70 of us, and up to a wicket that someone is already using. He waits IMPATIENTLY as the person finishes up with the Unemployment teller type person (We'll call her a teller from here on in) and then tries to get her to take his papers. "BUT I ONLY NEED TO GET THIS SIGNED" Mr. Bonaduce yells as he is thankfully sent to the back of the line. He's all upset and starts to mutter to some older East Indian gentleman who instead of sympathizing with him just says "Hey we're all here for the same thing, that's why there is a line". CLASSIC!!!!!!!

I then made it out of the EI office some hours later (Ahead of Danny Bonaduce I'd like to add) and went to get my hair cut. Well I know I was in trouble when I got to my regular place and the three guys who know how to cut my hair are busy. I could have said NO I'll wait for one of the guys I like, but I don't want to hurt the ladies feelings who is free to cut my hair so in I go.

Now I don't have much hair left, so I like to at least try to make what I have look good. WELL, I like a tapered back. Not a straight line of hair ending at my neck but something that is faded. I go through great detail to explain this to her.... I even said "FADE THE BACK IN, DON'T LEAVE A STRAIGHT LINE, YOU KNOW A TAPER?" she smiled and said "Of course". I knew I was in trouble when she spent what seemed like hours on my back..... she changed so many clippers and scissors I thought she was carving a statue out of Marble. She then proceeds to cut the rest of my hair, And not very well either. But to be honest, I'm really not concerned as there is only so much you can do wrong with my hair (Not counting the back of course). Then the moment of truth....... the mirror comes out and it's time to check out the back.

STRAIGHT AS A FREAKING ARROW!!!! You could use the back of my hair as a straight edge for drafting. I could be a level if you wanted to build a house. It was the exact opposite of what I asked for. It was as if she was from Bizzaro World, it was that opposite.

Oh well, in the end it really doesn't matter because when I get my hair cut, in my mind I think I'm going to come out looking like this.......but I always come out looking like this......
Oh, if anyone is wondering I'm still broke and unemployed... I'll keep you posted if anything changes.

1 comment:

Mr. Mal Occhio said...

Hilarious post, Gregor. Check your email for a money-making opportunity that has been offered by my publisher. It ain't a full-time gig, but it may be something to get ya some extra cash for the time being. Keep up the great blog. You're aces, baby.